by Angie Smith
Angie: How did you get started in your career as a photographer?
Charlotte: I’ve been a photographer for the past 15 years. I studied photography here in Germany. I had chemistry and art as majors before I finished high school. We had a photography assignment and there was a small dark room that we could work in. I know it sounds so cliche, but when you are in the darkroom and the image suddenly appears on paper, it’s this magic moment. I said to myself: ‘Oh, this is fun and I think I’m good at it. Is a photographer something that you can become? Let’s see how this plays out.’

Sometime into studying, my father passed away and I had to get rid of his things. The attic was full of his photographs and Super 8 films. I remembered that he taught me a lot about photography. When we would go on holiday, he always had a camera. There are pictures of me as a 4-year-old trying to take pictures. Now looking back, I realize photography was such a big influence, it was always there. So the idea of becoming a photographer didn’t feel too far-fetched.
Angie: What was your first published photo?
My first proper assignment was for Nylon magazine.
I was interning with a photographer in New York and she had to travel to LA for work. She said: ‘I can’t take you with me on the shoot, but you’ll have time, so I’ll give you contacts. Why don’t you show your portfolio around?’
I said: ‘I don’t have a portfolio.’
She said: ‘Okay, when I’m back, you’ll create a portfolio and start showing your stuff around.’
She gave me all her contacts. I was very young and I had no fear. I would go everywhere and anywhere. I went to Nylon Magazine and asked for a meeting. I had my meeting and the next day, they called me with a small shoot. I got paid $50 for it, which I would never accept now, but I thought: ‘If I can do this in New York, I can definitely do it in Germany.’
After my time in New York, I photographed a cookbook with a friend. We sold the concept to the publishing company– that was the first book that I made and was the gateway into my next project, Makers of East London where I visited artists in their workshops across East London, documenting their workflow. That period of time was full of a lot of coincidences and luck and it was one of the most important times that prepared me for everything else because I was constantly producing photographs for my portfolio.
When people ask what kind of photography I do, I say that it’s everything that’s atmospheric.
I’m a very emotional person and I do emotional portraits, but what I’m good at is giving people space. My portraits are good because I can hold space for people to just be themselves. Which I find is important for the work I do.
Often, the person will see their image and say: ‘No one has ever photographed me like that. I feel like it’s the first time that somebody has seen me the way I really am.’ That is the biggest compliment you can probably get as a photographer.




I’ve been freelance for the past 15 years. The pandemic was quite good for me. I think it divided the people– some stopped working and for others, it fueled them.
I was successful because it’s just me and my camera. I don’t have much overhead, assistants and tons of equipment. During Covid, people knew I could be distant from the subject and shoot quickly. That was kind of my thing and editors knew they could get what they wanted.
I think a lot of photographers pushed through the pandemic and then it came to that point for me where it wasn’t working anymore. I didn’t get assigned to anything. People stopped reaching out. Financially it was really, really bad. In the beginning, I thought, well, it’s gonna pick up but it never really picked up.
In a way, I got lucky because I was dealing with an illness and I couldn’t do anything. I had to stay in bed for a really long time and I was constantly thinking about my career not working.
I had a lot of time and I was thinking about what else I’d be good at. I have experience with grief and death in my family. And it’s been something that I’ve had to deal with and do on my own. In Germany, no one talks about grief and death because you’re not taught how to.
I photographed a grief counselor once and the memory popped in my head again. I thought: this could be something. The second I said it out loud, I thought: This is what I’m going to do.
I applied to a program and it’s going to start in May. The training goes for about a year and then I’m a certified grief counselor. After that, I want to go into the funeral business.
I think what connects grief work and my photography is that I’m able to find beauty in whatever I see. Obviously death is not beautiful but it is natural, it’s part of life and it’s happening for all of us. To define the beauty in something makes it easier for people. And to be honest, we are all gonna die. It’s just something that’s part of life.

Angie: What has the grieving process been like with your photo career changing? Have you let go slowly or made a sudden cut?
I do feel like I need to make a cut. I think I’ve just reached the point where I know I am good at what I do but I also have so many more talents and it’s just time for me to move on. Photographers put so much into their careers—it’s just so personal. Every time you get rejected, it’s hard to not take it personally.
Photography is something that I’ve been successful at and I’ve loved it. But I’ve been angry for so long. I’ve asked: ‘Why? I don’t want it to be over. It’s something that brought me so much joy. I met amazing people and I went to great places. Why is this ending?’


I have a small studio and I have it for another couple of months. I made an offer to people who want to be photographed– that they can come to the studio and pay whatever they can afford for a portrait. This is me slowly saying goodbye to the studio.
I’m probably going to keep one small point and shoot. I don’t think I cannot take pictures. It’s something that I’ve done for the past 20 years– it’s a big part of my life. When I talk about it with people, I feel happy with the decision and that it’s the right decision but I’m also sad and I circle back to the same question: ‘Did I do something wrong? Is it my fault that my photography career isn’t working anymore?’
I’ve been breaking up with my identity of being a photographer and I have been going through all the stages of grief over that.
Angie: What a beautiful way to say goodbye. When did you know it was time to throw in the towel?
I think that’s everybody’s own personal decision. I’m slowly approaching 40 and I always want to know how to pay rent. I’m just tired of constantly being the person saying to the photo editor: ‘I need more money. I can give you what you want but you have to pay me properly because I’m good at what I do.’
I’m young enough to start over and feel like I can do so much more. And you know, I don’t want to be that person in 10 or 15 years when there’s no no other way. I am at peace with having made that decision and I’m excited to do something different. But I still ask myself: ‘Why did this not work? Is it my photography? Am I not at the right time in the right spot? Should I have done something differently?’
I am a hard worker and I gave it my all – but it just didn’t happen.


[Six months later…]
Angie: How did it go letting go of your studio? How did that feel and where are you in the process of changing careers?
I am still working on letting it go. I’m starting to slowly be okay. It’s still a dream that I had to give up. I have been crying a lot. When I went through images of my career for this interview, I was going through my archive, bawling my eyes out. This has been a great 10-15 years of lots of hard work. I did amazing things and I met amazing people. Sometimes I still ask ‘why do I have to stop doing this? I am really good at what I do’.
I just started the grief counseling program and I am in the middle of it now. Going through the training, we talk a lot about finding creative ways to make people feel comfortable and seen. Taking portraits of people is very similar– trying to empower people and have them look at themselves and make them feel good and seen and safe. I realized that they are trying to teach me something I have been doing for the last 15 years.
Angie: How does it feel to be on the other side of changing careers?
It’s been a really hard process with so many layers but I’ve finally come to a point where I am excited to reinvent myself. I am so free, it scares the shit out of me. I can be whoever I want, I can explore myself and different ways of living.
In the beginning I thought I wanted a hard cut from photography. But at this point, I am starting to be softer with myself about ending it. I have no clue where I will end up, I am just here trying my best to find myself and find new ways to explore my talents.
With photography, I have more boundaries than I used to have, which gives me the freedom to be more myself with making photography work. I am declining a lot of jobs because I don’t accept the terms or budget and it gives me the freedom to choose what I am the best at. I am making great work now because I don’t care as much about what I should do. I am excited for the first time in a very long time. I found my way back to why I got into the business in the first place. Sometimes I wake up and ask myself: ‘Who am I today?’ It’s so nice. I am trying to be gentle and give myself space and see where life takes me.